Saturday, November 15, 2014

An update on being a mommy of 2.

   First off, I just want to say how absolutely CUH-raaaazy I am about these two little boys. Sigh. If you told me 5 years ago that I'd be a mother of not one, but two BOYS, I'd laugh in your face. I was going to have a house full of girls didn't you know! I would put them in frilly outfits and do their hair every day in fun styles. I had plans to make ruffled diaper covers, baby shoes, and bonnets to match every little dress in their closets (and I WOULD have too if you know anything about me. Ha!) Fast forward 2 years, and I found myself staring at boy parts on an ultrasound and my chin hit the floor. But I wouldn't have it any other way. 

   Now that I'm on my second boy, I'll be honest, a part of me still wonders what my life would be like to have a little girl as well, but never in a million years would I ever have believed how much I could love little boys. Eli has been a pure joy except his terrible three's moments and so far Andrew is a lot like him and a GREAT baby.

   Mommy confession time. I had a cabbage patch doll as a little girl who was my "real" baby. Gosh I loved that thing. Then one day I had the opportunity to get another cabbage patch doll and in my little girl thinking, if one doll was so awesome, two would be even better! But what I found when I got this second doll is that it didn't mean as much to me as my first and I ended up ignoring that second one. I felt like a horrible "mother". I beat my 10 year old self up about it. Because of this experience, in the back of my mind I've always worried about having more than one kid and loving them equally, especially since Eli already had my heart nearly bursting. I couldn't imagine how I could possibly shove any more love into what I thought was a confined space. But you can! It stretches! Phew, what a relief!

  Next fear of mine: Eli would be insanely jealous of now having to share mommy/daddy/grandma/complete stranger's attention and would start regressing in his behavior. This kid is a people person and thrives on attention. Would he act out? Would he be mean to his baby brother? He's potty trained now, would he start having accidents? How would he be with his favorite people now fawning over a brand new baby? Just fine it turns out! He loves him and loves showing him off! He talks to him all the time. If Andrew cries, he immediately notifies me (even though oftentimes I'm actively in the process of soothing him, ha ha.) "Mommy, Andrew needs milkies. He's hungry." When we're in the car and Andrew starts singing the song of his people, ("waaaaaah!") Eli will respond with "hush little baby, don't say a word..." It all makes my heart soar. I wish you could see how Andrew stares at Eli as he dances like a maniac in front of him and turns to face him when he's talking to him. I don't know what it is about Eli, but even I don't always get Andrew to focus on my face, ha ha. 

First night home, Eli is loving on him

He's always asking me to take their picture together.
   So now that I can definitively say, 6 weeks in, that those 2 fears are a moot point, we have fallen into a nice little routine. Andrew is a great sleeper/napper and eater and Eli is a great helper (when his 3 year old self wants to be, that is.*wink*) While pregnant I wondered how I'd fit in all those nursing sessions with another kid to tend to but again, Eli surprised me by being incredibly patient and waiting until I'm done feeding his brother. He hasn't shown any resentment or anything. It's just understood that mommy is busy with the baby and he will find something else to occupy his time until I can get him what he can't get himself, usually a snack. I also wondered if all the prep work I did while pregnant would even make a difference. For example, I constantly talked to Eli about Andrew and what to expect. I told him he was going to be a big brother and that one day, although not right away, they would have lots of fun playing together. I warned him that he'd be pretty boring the first year and that he'd have no words to use and would only cry to communicate and that we'd have to be patient with him and figure out why he was crying. I explained that he needed to always be gentle with him and that as a big brother he needed to protect him. Now, I'll over hear him explaining to people meeting Andrew for the first time that "he cries because he has no words" and "I'm his big brother, I protect him." So he is getting it, and he is listening. That kid is a little sponge. Every little phrase and term of endearment I say to Andrew, I've heard Eli parrot. It's hilarious! Love that kid.

   One of the main reasons the transition has been so smooth is because of my hands on hubby and the boys' amazing grandparents. Once again, my mom has bent over backwards to help me out whenever I need the help. She offers to babysit and to let me have some mommy time and takes the BEST care of them. My hubby, being considerate of my sanity, arranged in advance to have his mom come stay with us for the past 2 weeks while he'd be traveling and she's been a Godsend as well. She is the baby whisperer and both kiddos adore her. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she has a doctorate in child psychology because she knows exactly how to handle a willful 3 year old (I know you know what I'm talking about.) So lets add preschooler whisperer to her list of talents as well. It's fascinating to watch! She reminds me of Cesar Millan, only with children, ha ha. True story.
I have yet to see her NOT get a baby to sleep, even when you swear you've tried everything!

Love them.
    I'm not going to lie, having my mother in law here has been great and I'm going to be sad Eli will bother me at 6am instead of her she's leaving. I can't thank her enough for her help these past 2 weeks!

   In the meantime, my hubby has made it clear he's set on having just 2 kids so I'm soaking up EVERY cuddle, coo, and gassy grin I can get. I wish I could bottle up the baby smell and have it on hand for when they're teenagers and I want to wring their necks because it'll take me back to this moment in time and remind me just how worth it it all is.

 Night night,


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